


Silent Night

by pseudofoucault333



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Candles, Cardiff, Christmas, Christmas Music, Churches & Cathedrals, Closure, Family, M/M, Meet the Family, Memories, No Spoilers, Presents, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Remembrance, Rituals, Season/Series 01, supportive!Ianto, thoughts-of-the-past!Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2012-12-11
Packaged: 2017-11-20 20:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudofoucault333/pseuds/pseudofoucault333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack lets Ianto in on a ritual that he usually kept to himself...but he soon ends partaking in another that lets him see the more human side of his lover. </p><p>Written for a Challenge I can't remember the name of, '10, 'beta'd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent Night

**Author's Note:**

> A little Torchwood fic revolving around Christmas I forgot I even had on my LJ to be honest :/ Shows how many fics I have both in my head and on my hard drive at the moment. Either way for those Torchwood fans lurking, I hope you like it :) xo

**Title:** Silent Night  
 **Author:** **lovin_torture**   
**Rating:** R   
**Pairing:** Janto   
**POV:** 3rd  
 **Summary:** Jack lets Ianto in on a ritual that he usually kept to himself...but he soon ends partaking in another that lets him see the more human side of his lover.   
**Warnings:** Technically spoilers for season one and possibly CoE for some information....with maybe a little OCness.  
 **Disclaimer:** The whole concept of Torchwood © the awesomeness that is RTD and the BBC, don’t sue because the contents of my bank account is only worth isn't worth much in Pounds right about now. Plot mostly based on fiction…i.e not real….but a girl can wish  <3   
**Author Notes:** Set in Season one before Abaddon, written for **slythrngodss** who requested _Evening/Night church service and meeting the family_. Hope it fits close to what you were thinking of. Beta'd by the awesome **badly_knitted** :) 

Back when he had been a child, Ianto could remember his mother dragging him and Rhiannon to a nameless church on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It was the only real time that she had been a religious woman and yet when either of her children had complained, she had always come up with some kind of reason behind it; thinking back on it now, he couldn’t remember any of them. Since her funeral it had been years since he had set foot in any church; even when Rhiannon had had both David and Mica christened he had made sure he was working so he didn’t have to be overwhelmed by the memories. Rhiannon hadn’t been happy either time, even when he tried to explain to her, but over time she had just come to accept it was something that he would never be able to get over. Unfortunately he had forgotten all of this when he had let Jack twist his arm into coming to a Christmas service with him on Christmas Eve. 

“You want to go to church?” he’d asked, raising an eyebrow when his lover had mentioned it offhandedly the week before Christmas, while he was wrapping Mica and David’s presents in case he couldn’t see them on the actual day due to Torchwood commitments.

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Jack asked, a slight grin on his face as he set a glass of wine down beside Ianto’s production line of boxes, wrapping paper and ribbons on the kitchen table.

“I just never thought you were much of the church going type, that’s all.” Ianto shrugged, downing a mouthful of the wine and only looking up at Jack when he sat beside him with a glass of water to continue putting stamps on overdue Christmas cards.

“Normally I’m not....but at Christmas I always make the effort. You know, it being a special occasion and all.” Jack smiled with a wink, writing an address on a new envelope in his beautifully old fashioned looking scrawl.

“But still...A church....with pews, an altar and stained glass windows?” Ianto asked, tearing a piece of tape off the roll with his teeth and using it to secure the paper over Mica’s doll before going into the other fiddly aspects.

“I do know what a church looks like, Ianto. I’ve been going since the 18th century.”

“Then why didn’t you mention it before?” Ianto asked, finally giving up on concentrating and turning his attention to his lover, who’d just put the stamps on the last couple of cards and was putting them all in a neat pile.

“Well, usually I don’t drag my lover along. I have so many people I want to remember, but this time I think you might need to remember some too,” Jack said gently, tilting his head and watching Ianto chew the corner of his lip as he looked down at the table.

The silence seemed to surround them as Ianto tried to not let it show on his face how deeply Jack’s words hit home. True he had tried not to give Lisa much thought, not to mention all of his colleagues from Torchwood One; from the head researcher Tom Mitchell who had been his boss and mentor when he started as a junior researcher, to Maria in Accounts who had sat with him at lunch until the very last day, to Fred, a field agent who had flirted with him and given him the juicy details about his time out. And then of course there was Lisa. Lord, how he had tried not to think about Lisa since he’d had to dispose of her body in the sewer. Admittedly Jack had managed to convince him to cremate her; her ashes had been sat in the bottom of his locker since, but he managed to not think about her too much by being with Jack whenever he got the chance.

It probably became obvious on his face because he felt Jack’s hand resting on the small of his back and heard him softly hushing in his ear.

“I’m sorry, Ianto....I shouldn’t have brought that up. If you don’t want to come with me that’s fine, I just thought after the year we’ve had....”

“No...It’s fine....I want to go,” he made himself whisper, pursing his lips as he made himself look up from the pile of cards he’d been staring at to meet his lover’s piercing blue gaze.

“As long as you’re sure,” Jack said softly, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck, making all the fears that had building under the surface in Ianto’s mind disappear.

xo

The rest of the week leading up to Christmas, Ianto tried not to think about the promise he had been talked into; he focused on doing all the filing and cleaning that always needed to be done around the holidays before the rush started. For some weird reason, creatures always came through the rift around the festive time or end of the year, which had meant in the past that someone always had to stay around the Hub. It was almost always Jack, who seemed to think the rest of the team deserved the time with their families. Yet when Ianto assured Jack he could cover Christmas Eve with him, his lover had pressed a kiss to his lips but shook his head.

“No, Ianto, I think you have a little family somewhere you need to visit, so I’m going to stay here and do paperwork.”

“But.....don’t you want to come?” He couldn’t even place where those words had come from and from the way Jack froze, he obviously hadn’t been expecting them either.

“No. I promise I’ll be fine. Just call me when you want to leave and I’ll pick you up, ok?” he whispered, brushing his fingers against Ianto’s cheek and catching another quick kiss before letting him go.

Reluctantly Ianto let himself walk out the Hub and across the Plass to his car, feeling like he should have insisted a lot harder that Jack came with him. Sure, Rhiannon and her kids didn’t know he was with a guy after what happened to Lisa, but at the same time he knew his sister would be happy for him no matter who he was with. No....this year wasn’t the time to spring the surprise on them. Maybe next year when he felt surer that what he and Jack had wasn’t one-sided. He bit his lip as he hugged his coat closed and hoped he didn’t regret agreeing to go with Jack to the church that night.

Spending time with Mica and David was something he didn’t get to do as much as he would love to and it seemed to Ianto that his niece and nephew had grown bigger and wiser all the time he was trying to find himself in the world of Torchwood. So as he sat in the lounge with a cup of tea in his hand, letting his sister yammer on about birthdays he’d missed, reports he hadn’t got to read and times he bailed because something crazy was running around Cardiff, just watching them renewed his reasons for becoming a part of the organisation to begin with. He wanted to keep the world safe for them and as long as there was breath left in his body, that was what he was going to do.

“...Ianto?”

He was pulled out his thoughts at the sound of Rhiannon saying his name and flashed a small smile at her, pretending that he had heard whatever she had said when by the look on her face, it was obvious to her that he hadn‘t.

“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said have you?” she asked, narrowing her eyes accusingly as she picked up some glasses littering the lounge.

“Yes I have,” he denied, pushing himself up and following her into the kitchen.

“Ok then....what did I say before your name?” 

“You asked if I was staying around long enough for dinner?” he guessed with a sheepish smile, causing her to roll her eyes, but obviously he wasn’t far off.

“Not quite....but that was what I was going to ask next....lucky guess,” she sighed, putting the glasses in the sink and turning to the fridge to pull out the meat she’d been defrosting.

“Yes, I can stay for dinner if that’s ok....and I’m guessing your other question was if I was seeing someone at the moment or if you could set me up with so and so you know on the estate,” he said, sinking into a chair at the table as he downed the last of his cold tea.

“So you were paying attention despite the blank look on your face,” she sighed, as he put his cup on the draining board.

“Yes. And I am seeing someone, but they had to work tonight or else I would have brought them along,” he said, turning his attention from his sister when Mica appeared with a piece of paper in her hand.

“Uncle Yan....I drew this for you,” she said softly, offering him the paper shyly.

Ianto gave her a soft smile and let her put it on the table in front of him before picking her up and pressing a kiss to her cheek, causing her to giggle and hug him tightly around the neck before he set her down.

“Thank you Mica.” He smiled, turning the paper over and looking at what he assumed was the Christmas tree sat in the middle of the room, only the one on the paper was in front of a huge star. “It’s so beautiful.”

She flashed him a bright smile before disappearing back into the lounge to her brother, leaving Ianto to stare at the picture as Rhiannon began to ramble more as she started dinner.

Dinner reminded him of Christmas Eve at their parents’ place, how their mother would always make something small so they were hungry and stir crazy as she made Christmas dinner, only just kept distracted from driving her crazy by their presents. It was only a basic small meat and potato pie with vegetables, but since he mostly lived on takeaways at the Hub it was a welcome change.

Johnny invited him down to the pub, but he declined; none of Johnny’s friends were exactly fans of his, he knew it for a fact. He helped David with the dishes while Rhiannon watched Coronation Street, and settled Mica down with a story before tucking her into bed. He let Rhiannon give him her usual mothering lecture about taking care of himself, keeping in touch and coming over more often to spend time with the kids, before he knew he’d had enough and faked a yawn.

“Have a Merry Christmas, Rhi....I’m sorry I can’t come over tomorrow, but with work you never know when something will come up,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek and letting her pull him into a tight hug.

Finally he managed to get out the door and sighed with relief as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat and walked down the path to his car. He waited until he was back at his place before texting Jack to let him know he was free. He was only hovering on the doorstep for a second before he heard the SUV swerving around the corner, causing him to cringe. He let himself get into the passenger seat, despite his instinct to take over driving from his crazy lover, and pressed a kiss to Jack’s cheek before fastening himself in and leaning back as Jack took off.

He barely took notice of the route Jack was taking and from the way he was going, it was like he was just driving around Cardiff looking around for a church he hadn’t been to before. He was glad when Jack passed the church his mother had dragged him to because he wasn’t sure the memories that followed would have been controllable, yet he was growing a little more restless by the second.....or it could have been Jack’s driving causing that. Finally they arrived and it didn’t take long for Ianto to find himself stood at the back of the Llandaff Cathedral with Jack’s fingers intertwined with his, as they hovered in the doorway, watching the old people praying and making their way to the front for the communion. He felt Jack try and lead him forward but his body was stiff, like it didn’t want to move until he felt Jack softly kissing his cheek to bring him back to reality and remind him of his promise. He let himself be led into one of the pews at the back of the church, so they were given some privacy and sat down on the oak pew covered in carpet as though it tried to soothe the worshipper’s backside from the numbing pain. 

The low stools in front of them were bare and as he looked around, he saw a few elderly people actually kneeling on them with their heads bowed and lips moving silently as they said a prayer for the season. 

It really had been so long since he’d been in a church that it was like the young Welshman had forgotten what you were expected to do, to say, how you were supposed to act to those around you and it was slightly unnerving. But Jack’s fingers squeezed his own reassuringly, like he could sense his unease, and he silently bowed his head as the choir in the front pews, ascending either side of the altar, began to sing carols to their saviour. 

Ianto tried to do the same, to think of those he had loved and lost. His mother, his father, Lisa....and all those members of Torchwood One who were now just names engraved on the memorial at Canary Wharf, to remember Suzie and the madness that caused her to become so destructive; and yet the more memories that flooded over him the more he could feel the tears building in the corners of his eyes, making him want to get up and leave. But he had assured Jack he would stay and that was what he intended to do, no matter how much salt was poured into his own emotional wounds.

He watched Jack out the corner of his eye as he whispered names of lovers, wives and children he had known throughout the centuries he’d been alive. He felt the older man freeze and bite his lower lip as he thought of Estelle, the kindly woman who had loved him even though he was away....who had been killed by the very things she believed would cause her no harm. It made the young man think of the person he had lost so long ago but had clung to the shell of, because it was all he had left of her. Deep inside he had known she wasn’t the Lisa he loved, even though he had tried to maintain to the others she still was....and he had known even more that there was no chance of saving her...his Torchwood One training had told him as much. He hadn’t been able to grieve so he’d clung on to the tiny piece of denial that said he could get her back and be as happy as they used to be.

It felt like a lifetime that he sat beside the older man, Jack’s fingers squeezing his own for comfort when those memories filled with a certain amount of heartache and emotion took their toll, but for Ianto it was enough to pull him from his own thoughts which couldn’t even begin to compare to those his lover had experienced. Finally, as his mind had managed to find a path through his thoughts of Lisa and all those names on the Torchwood Memorial to those of his parents, who had long since passed on in a way that he knew Jack would never be able to, he felt a tug on his hand. He let his eyes open, the light blinding him for a second as he got used to it again, to make his childhood memories stop playing like home movies on his eyelids and he looked up to see Jack on his feet, with a forced version of the trademark Harkness smile on his lips. 

Part of the young man wanted to pull Jack into a hug and assure him that he would never have to do this for him, that he would always be beside him, but he knew it was a promise that would make Jack feel worse since they both knew it was a promise he couldn’t keep while Torchwood was in his life. Another part of him just wanted to let himself be led to do whatever part of the ritual Jack did next, being the silent support when he needed him, and that was the part that won out. He let himself be pulled to his feet and led down the path around the outside of the pews on their side of the church towards the front, where steel trolleys covered in arrangements of candles were sat at the front of both pews, some candles lit and some not.

Ianto let their interlinked hands part as Jack picked up an unlit white tea candle, careful not to catch his coat’s sleeve alight in the process, and lit the candle from one of the others. He settled it back in its holder in the front row and stared into the flame as though the faces of those he was remembering were disappearing into the amber depths.

Ianto left Jack to his thoughts as he copied his lover’s actions, lighting a candle and setting it beside Jack’s, letting the faces of those he remembered appear at the front of his mind and fade into the flame’s depths. With it, surprisingly, came the feeling of the weight being lifted off his shoulders. He could see why Jack did this around that time of year but when he looked at Jack’s face out the corner of his eyes, he saw tears trickling down his cheeks and softly hushed him as he laced their fingers back together and led Jack out the church into the cold night air. 

He waited until they reached the SUV before pulling Jack into a hug and pressing a kiss to his forehead as Jack sobbed into his shoulder, incoherent words emerging with each sob that broke the younger man’s heart.

“Jack....It’s ok....I’m here,” he murmured into his neck as Jack’s arms clung around his waist like he never wanted a reason to let him go. Finally he heard Jack let out a shaky breath and pulled away to wipe the tears from his face with his thumb.

“Sorry...I always seem to get a little teary,” the older man said softly, a small smile on his face.

“It’s fine.....you’ve got a lot of people to remember. It’s understandable that you’d be a bit emotional,” Ianto said softly, brushing his hand up and down Jack’s back, ignoring the friction from the woolly material of Jack’s coat against his numb fingers.

“Can we just go home now?” Jack asked, using his coat’s sleeve to wipe away the newly falling tears from his cheek.

“Sure....” Ianto whispered, catching Jack’s lips in a soft kiss before unlocking the car and getting in.

The drive back to his place was filled mostly with silence, as though Jack was still lost in his own thoughts while Ianto was just trying to figure out where exactly they were and the fastest way to get to his place without being recognised. As they stopped at a red light on the ring road in Cardiff town centre, though how he even managed to get there was a blur, Ianto felt Jack’s hand grazing along his thigh, like he wanted to hold his hand but knew how annoyed his lover got when he was in the middle of driving. Ianto offered him a small smile out the corner of his eye as the lights changed to green and he continued driving the SUV through the pretty quiet roads of Cardiff to his place. He parked the SUV beside his own car and killed the engine as he turned to meet Jack’s gaze, though it seemed like only seconds before Jack was grabbing his chin and making their lips collide, like he needed the reassurance of something real that wasn’t filled with heartache and tears. Ianto let him indulge for a while, brushing his fingers over Jack’s features and feeling relieved when he didn’t feel any moisture on his skin.

Finally, when he needed to breathe, he pulled back to gently press a kiss to Jack’s lips like a silent ‘ _wait ‘til we get inside_ ’ before getting out of the car. Jack followed his lead, leaving Ianto to lock the car and lead Jack towards the main door to his flat. As he tried to find the right key on his key ring he felt Jack’s arms wrap around his waist as his lips traced from the side of his neck to behind his ear, causing a chill to run through him and his fingers to nearly lose their grip on the keys.

The young Welshman flashed Jack a fake look of annoyance that the older man obviously saw through as he grinned innocently and kept his arms in their position, but refrained from any more lips to skin action. Finally they were inside his flat and Ianto had hung up both their coats before turning to look as Jack, who snaked a hand around his wrist and led him down the hallway towards his room with a devious yet seductive smile on his lips.

Unlike every other time they had been together in his room there was no real rush behind their actions, no desperate need to get rid of clothes, or thoughts fixated on how limited their time was before they had to go back to the Hub to relieve one of the others. This time it was all about the sparks that flowed between them, the simple act of revelling in passion, of Jack’s mouth treasuring each piece of skin that was revealed as a button was undone, of him completely doting on his lover who had experienced him at his worst and most emotional, yet hadn’t run away screaming, of actually _making love_ to the body that he couldn’t get enough of.

Ianto’s heart raced against his chest every time Jack thrust inside him, his groans and Jack’s moans of his name blocking out the slapping of skin and the roaring of blood in his ears, and yet with each action his body would jerk like it couldn’t get enough. Like it was so used to Jack’s usually rough and rushed style that this indulgence was like being given a taster of ice cream when you wanted the whole tub; but deep inside he had always wanted it this way and he was going to enjoy every minute of it. Finally he couldn’t hold his own orgasm back anymore and groaned into Jack’s neck when he was inside him as his cum flowed over the skin of their stomachs and chests. It took Jack a few more thrusts into his already spent body before he followed, sucking a love bite on the side of his neck to muffle his moan before slowly easing himself out of him. Ianto watched though half lidded eyes as Jack got off the bed to fetch a flannel for them from the bathroom, gently wiping the cum from their torsos, then throwing the material into the basket in the corner and disposing of the condom before crawling into bed beside him.

Instinctively Ianto rolled onto his side so his head rested on Jack’s chest, the older man’s arm wrapping possessively around his waist to bring him closer, and pressed a soft kiss to his chest.

“What was that for?” Jack murmured, meeting his sleepy gaze as his finger tips grazed up and down Ianto’s bare back.

“For daring to show me a side of you no-one else has ever seen. That was definitely the best Christmas present a guy could have asked for,” he whispered, lifting his arm and guiding Jack’s chin down to press a kiss to his lips before his eyes closed. But it didn’t stop him from noticing Jack’s body stiffening a little, or the lack of gentle breathing he often felt when he was sleeping.

xo

The next morning Ianto woke to see Jack’s side of the bed empty as his lover rummaged around to get dressed, his teeth digging into his lower lip with obvious nerves. He appreciated his lover trying to not wake him, but something more seemed to be on his mind.

“Jack?” he asked softly, pushing his sleepy form upright so his head rested against the wall. His lover let his braces hang either side of his hips as he sat on the bed beside him.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” Jack smiled, though the smile was off causing Ianto to catch his chin with his hand and make him look him in the eye.

“What’s wrong?”

“I....I just need to visit someone and was hoping you could come with me?” 

“Sure.....but you’re acting kind of weird....something’s wrong. What is it?” Ianto asked, pressing a kiss to his lips that gradually deepened as Jack crawled over him, their lips fighting a war that neither was really fixated on winning. It seemed to only get deeper, yet the deeper they kissed the more obvious it became to the younger man that Jack wanted to hide his nerves as much as possible, his fingers running over Ianto’s skin.Finally they parted when they needed to breathe, Jack’s breath brushing against his lips as their foreheads remained pressed together, Ianto brushing his hand over Jack’s cheek reassuringly.

“What time do we need to leave?” he asked softly, earning a smile from Jack, a combination of appreciation and admiration.

“Not till after lunch....so I have time to give you your present,” he whispered, pressing a quick kiss to Ianto’s lips before getting off the bed with the air of an overly excited child, causing Ianto to grin as he leaned back into his pillow to watch Jack rummage through his coat for his present.

Finally he reappeared with a small, wrapped box that made Ianto freeze as the older man climbed back up the bed beside him.

“Merry Christmas,” Jack smiled, offering him the box from the palm of his hand.

Ianto smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips as he took it from him, unwrapping it carefully and opening the box itself with shaking fingers to see a pair of silver ornate cufflinks in the shape of the Claddagh symbol, too old fashioned and undoubtedly valuable to be from a Jeweller’s present stock, but definitely perfectly in tune with his own personal and professional style.

“Ohmigod, Jack....they are so beautiful. Where did you get them?” he whispered, tearing his gaze from the contents of the box to meet his lover’s pristine gaze.

“Well, technically they’re mine,” Jack whispered with a grin on his features that lit up his whole face.

“What?”

“I got them during World War One as a present from a partner and had been holding on to them since I joined Torchwood. But when I saw you on your first day....in that gorgeous suit, I knew they were destined to sit on your wrists.” He smiled, watching Ianto’s eyes widen.

“But....they’re yours...I couldn‘t....”

“Yes you can....I’m not exactly using them much anymore,” he whispered, pressing a reassuring kiss to his lover’s lips, causing Ianto to blush.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.....now, do I get my present now or do I have to wait?” Jack asked, though his face screamed that he wasn’t sure he could wait.

“You can have it now,” the Welshman smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he put the cuff links’ box to one side and rummaged through his bedside drawer until he found what he was looking for.

“You’ll probably think it’s a strange gift. but you’re surprisingly hard to buy for. Merry Christmas, Jack,” Ianto smiled, handing over a fairly big wrapped box.

He watched Jack unwrap the gift anxiously, though he was definitely relieved when he saw the smile on his face.

“A few new shirts....and some records which I’ve been looking for for ages. Where did you find them?” Jack asked, giving him an incredulous look.

“It took a fair while, that’s all I’m saying.” Ianto smiled, “Though with the shirts I noticed the ones at the Hub are fairly worn, so....”

“Thank you so much, Ianto,” Jack smiled, putting his box gently on the floor before pressing a trail of kisses down Ianto’s neck as his hand slid under the covers.

By the time lunch time came around, Ianto was basking in the afterglow of having Jack make him feel like he was the most precious thing he could have asked for that year, though Jack was a nervous wreck as he rushed around getting ready. It took a while for Ianto to come to his senses and make himself dress, assuring Jack that there was no need to worry as he led him out the apartment despite how hungry he was. The whole time Jack was driving them, Ianto could see he was getting more and more nervous the closer they got to their destination and rested his hand over Jack’s on the gear stick, earning a small but reassured smile.

Finally he parked the car outside a house in a street that looked like just any other ordinary street, though as the two got out Ianto could see Jack was itching to get back in even as he pulled a bag off the back seat. He gave Jack’s hand a squeeze and let him lead the way up the main path, hovering as he knocked at the door.

A young brunette woman appeared in the doorway dressed in jeans and a red blouse and wiping her hands on a tea towel. She didn’t seem the least bit surprised to see the older man but her eyebrow rose when she spotted Ianto.

“Steven’s in the lounge playing with his Xbox.....you might want to prepare him before your friend goes in,” she said, moving to one side to let the two in.

Jack nodded silently and led the way inside. Ianto wanted to ask what was going on, why they were here and why he felt like Jack had neglected to tell him something important. Instead he let Jack go into the lounge and followed the woman into the kitchen with the question on his lips that she could probably already see coming.

“Well...I have to say it’s a first for my dad to bring someone with him when he comes to visit,” she said, throwing the tea towel to one side and turning on the kettle.

“Wait....Jack’s your father?” Ianto made himself ask, though he felt like he was going to faint at the casualness in her tone.

“I’m guessing he didn’t say anything before you came, did he?” she asked, rummaging around the cupboards for cups and teabags.

Dumbstruck, Ianto merely shook his head, causing the woman to sigh.

“My name is Alice....Alice Carter and yes....Jack Harkness is my father,” she said, sitting opposite him.

“....but....I.....he....”

“I try to discourage him from visiting me and my son, but....Dad just can’t keep away, especially around Christmas. He was the same when my mother was alive but....god, how she hated him.”

“So do you know about…?”

“....his immortality? Kind of hard not to since he hasn’t aged a day since I was six. One of many reasons why my son just thinks Dad is his uncle. You can’t explain to a nine year old that his grandfather is never going to get older.”

“I see your point,” Ianto said wistfully, watching her get to her feet to pour the boiled water into the cups.

“So...er.... what’s your relationship to him?” she asked.

“I’m Ianto Jones....I work with your father but....as for defining our relationship, it’s kind of hard,” Ianto sighed as she sat back down, giving her a small smile when she handed over a cup of tea, leaving Jack’s on the counter.

“Hmmm....well, Dad doesn’t exactly follow conventional relationship rules, so I can see your point....though you must mean a lot to him if he’s brought you to meet me and Steven.”

“I guess....I just....I can’t even tell him how I feel because I’m afraid he’ll.....”

“....disappear? Believe me I know the feeling. Despite him trying to be a good father, I can’t always rely on him with Torchwood in the picture. You probably spend more time with him than my mother got to,” Alice said with a small smile.

“I’m sorry...”

“Don’t apologise....Dad does more than his fair share of that while he’s here. Just tell me, Ianto....do you love him?”

Ianto opened his mouth to reply when he heard Jack laughing as he appeared in the doorway to the kitchen with a school age blonde boy in his arms, grinning and whispering presumably jokes in his ear.

“Mum, Uncle Jack was telling me about some trip he wants to take me on.” Steven grinned as Jack set the boy down and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his great coat.

“There’s a cup of tea on the side for you, Jack,” Alice said absent-mindedly before turning her attention to Steven, but Ianto could still feel her gaze flicking to him as though still waiting for an answer to her question.

Jack seemed to sense she’d asked him an awkward question as he picked up his tea and sat beside Ianto at the table, participating in the banter with his grandson as he squeezed Ianto’s hand under the table. Finally Alice managed to persuade Steven to get the present Jack had brought for her from the lounge to give them time to finish the conversation. Ianto caught her eye and silently nodded, which seemed to give Alice the answer she’d been waiting for as she smiled, though Jack seemed a little confused.

“Want to tell me what I’ve missed?” he asked, looking between his lover and his daughter though Alice rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“That’s something you’ll just have to ask Ianto when you get home, Dad....but for now....would you two like to stay for lunch?” she asked, going to the fridge after putting her empty mug on the side.

Ianto took a glance at Jack as though to assure him if that was what he wanted it was fine with him, earning him a smile of thanks from his lover.

“That sounds wonderful....thank you, Alice.” Jack smiled, turning his attention to Steven when he appeared in the door with Alice’s present. 

Ianto watched Alice unwrap the present, an old photo album filled with pictures of Jack and some woman who he assumed was Alice’s mother, and how daughter and father exchanged a significant look of appreciation before Steven tried to get their attention. Ianto let go of Jack’s hand so Steven could sit in his grandfather’s lap and watched the interaction between the three, knowing he was truly blessed to experience something that Jack had never let anyone else see.

While Steven tried to beg Alice for some chocolate as she made sandwiches, Ianto met Jack’s gaze and flashed him a smile which made his lover’s smile brighten. And there it was. The reason that this was one of the best Christmases he’d ever experience. He just hoped he got to experience a lot more with Jack Harkness while he had the chance and maybe over time they would acknowledge their love to each other and he would feel even luckier than he already did.


End file.
